August 3, 2022

We haven’t had two months in a year, but there’s already a wave of celebrity breakups.

Last month, Jason Momoa, 42, and Lisa Bonnet, 54, announced their divorce after living together for 16 years, while Pamela Anderson filed for divorce from her fifth husband, Dan Hearst.

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Hollywood couple Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonnet surprised fans when they announced their separation.Credit: Getty

But it’s not just celebrities who are parting ways. Divorce rates are high all the time after epidemics.

The British law firm Stewarts recorded a 122% increase in inquiries between July and October, compared to the same period last year, and Citizens Advice reported an increase in the search for proposals to end the relationship.

But how do you know if you are right for someone before you tie the knot?

From posting about their relationship on social media to sharing a shared bank account, Margaret Bancol, marriage counselor, reveals the difficult conversation that should take place before all couples say ‘I do’. .

Are you sharing on Instagram?

Excessive sharing on social media causes big problems between couples.

Just look at what’s going on with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West right now. He doesn’t want his eight-year-old daughter, North, to have a TikTok account – and she does.

This is very common. One partner is very active on social media and the other hates it – they don’t want pictures of themselves or their children on it.

Kim and Kenny are at war over their daughter, North, having a tick-tock account.

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Kim and Kenny are at war over their daughter, North, having a tick-tock account.Credit: Getty

You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people.

If you are unhappy with taking pictures of every private moment of your spouse and sharing them online, then you need to talk.

This will save a lot of arguments below the line.

Be open about your belongings

Unresolved emotional or financial issues can ruin your marriage in the long run.

Don’t expect your partner to solve your problems for you. You need to get help independently.

If you are struggling with debt, take action and talk to a financial advisor and make a payment plan.

If the problem is psychological, talk to a counselor and get help.

The worst thing you can do is bury your head in the sand.

What do you consider to be fraud?

I often talk to clients who have very different ideas about being eligible for fraud.

One may believe that liking a picture of the opposite sex on social media, viewing pornography or an emotional affair is considered fraud, while another may think it should be a physical affair.

Be clear with your partner about how you appreciate infidelity so that no one gets hurt.

Don’t ridicule your children.

There is no point in pretending you don’t want children if you do.

Some people mistakenly think that they can change the mind of their partner, but this is not always the case.

You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people.

Discuss everything about how many children you want, when you want them and how you want to raise them.

If you can’t get them naturally, you need to talk about other options such as adoption, foster care and fertility treatment to see if your partner wants to go down that path. Will

Settle on the non-negotiable.

Keeping boundaries in place helps you protect yourself and lets your partner know what you will and will not forgive.

For example, if your spouse cheats on you – and you know it’s not something you can do – you need to talk about it in advance.

But if these are trivial things – like your partner is not pulling his weight around the house – then you may be able to bear it.

Make a list of your non-negotiations and be clear with your other half from the start.

Try to be together

It is not a matter of what the marital life will be like, but it is a good way to get to know the person before engaging with him.

Often we’ll see things about someone we haven’t seen before going out with them – so this is a good way to test the water before getting engaged.

Alternatively, if you have been living with your partner for some time but have not yet raised the question or, conversely, ask yourself why.

Are you spending time with them? You should never be someone’s ‘make do’ and you should never do that to anyone else.

Map out your life plans

Do you have similar interests and hobbies?

Can you adjust and support your partner regardless of what life throws at you – whether it means going back to school in your fifties or going abroad for your career ?

There is no point in living with anyone if you are both looking at the future in completely different directions.

Map out your dreams and aspirations from life and make sure you’re on the same page.

How will you pay for your future?

More than 40% of couples argue over money and this is a common problem that comes to me.

One of them can be lavish and lavish with cash, while the other can be cheap.

Be honest about your spending habits and how you are going to pay the rent / mortgage.

Will you both contribute the same amount or will either of you pay more? Do you have a joint bank account or do you keep them separate?

It may seem strange to talk about money but unfortunately it is a necessity.

Share your core values.

Are they identical or are the pillars diametrically different?

Does one of you want to get married in church and name the children of the future but the other is not religious?

You may think this is fun now, but later on these are the things that will separate you, especially when / if you have children and you both have very different ideas about what you want them to do. How do you want to grow

Be honest with yourself and your partner so that no one gets hurt.

Research shows that 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce.

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Research shows that 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce.Credit: Getty

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